


Five Minutes

by sodypop97



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Friends who are jerks sometimes but all for a good cause, Holding Hands, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-08
Updated: 2013-02-08
Packaged: 2017-11-28 15:46:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/676113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodypop97/pseuds/sodypop97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose and Kanaya decide that to get his precious apple juice, Dave must hold Karkat's hand for five minutes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Minutes

**Author's Note:**

> For a prompt on tumblr. ^_^  
> positivelyporrim: horrible awkward enforced hand holding between dave and karkat

It was a typical day on the meteor (day? What are days anymore?), and the five inhabitants were casually gathered in a room together. Karkat and Dave were bickering on the sofa, Rose was working diligently at her alchemy table with Kanaya's eager assistance, and Terezi was licking the furniture. Rose held a bottle of a newly concocted yellow fluid up in appraisal. She and Kanaya exchanged looks and a nod, and Rose cleared her throat. "Dave, I have something for you."

Dave looked up at the product in Rose's hand and stood on the couch he was previously seated on. "Is that. What I think it is." Rose nodded with a sly smile.

"DON'T STAND ON THE CUSHIONS, YOU LOUSY FUCK," Karkat grumbled.

Dave hopped down and come over to Rose. "Oh dear gog, hand me the AJ." (It's been about three years and he still thinks the gog thing is funny?)

Kanaya whispered to Rose, who murmured "Indeed, I second that," in response. "Dave," she addressed the ironic sir. "You can only have this under one condition."

He flapped his arms around. "Please, I'll do anything for the juice."

"Alright then," Rose snickered. "You must hold hands with Karkat for exactly five minutes." She took a watch from her sylladex.

"Let's do this, man," Dave said, striding over to Karkat, who had risen from his spot on the couch.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHITTERY?!" Karkat seethed. "I REFUSE TO WRAP MY FINGERS AROUND THIS GUY'S SLIMY, SWEATY FLESHBAG OF A HAND."

"Come on man, my hand's drier than Rose's sense of humor. Now. For my sweet AJ." Dave wrangled the troll's hand into his after a few moments of struggling.

"THIS IS STUPID," Karkat scowled.

"This is hot," Terezi giggled.

"Starting the countdown... Now," Rose announced, eyes on her watch. "Kanaya, please assist in watching intently for any suspicious hand movements between those two."

"Yes, I will," she said with determination.

After a few beats of silence, Dave spoke up. "How you holding up, lil' buddy?" he squeezed Karkat's hand.

"I THINK YOU MAY HAVE CAUSED MY KNUCKLES TO IMPLODE IN DISGUST AT YOUR AFFECTION SQUEEZE. ALSO, NEVER FUCKING CALL ME LIL' BUDDY AGAIN UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO TAKE YOUR PRETTY BOY CAPE AND SEND IT DOWN THE FUCKING LOAD GAPER," he retorted.

"Yeah, I got that firm Strider grip. And what the hell is a load gaper?"

"SOMETHING FAR MORE INTELLIGENT THAN YOU'LL EVER BE."

"I believe that was what you'd call a 'burn,' Dave," Kanaya observed.

"K, whatever. Time check?" Dave shrugged.

"46 seconds done. Four minutes and 14 seconds left," Rose calculated.

"WILL THIS EVER END?" Karkat groaned.

"No. I'll make sure it doesn't using my time powers, you know? We're gonna be holding hands forever," Dave squeezed Karkat's hand again.

"STOP WITH YOUR DISTURBING, OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE HAND SQUEEZING."

"You know you like it."

"I HATE IT. I HATE YOU."

"Oh, really?" Terezi interjected with clear amusement.

"PLATONICALLY," Karkat screamed.

Terezi came up to Karkat and sniffed at him. "Oh, I could smell your blush all the way from the green sun."

Karkat ground his teeth against each other "TIME CHECK, GODDAMN IT."

"One minute and 19 seconds done. Three minutes and 41 seconds left," Rose said through a smirk.

\-----

Three minutes and 31 seconds later, Rose interrupted their continuous arguing with a countdown. "10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5..."

Terezi snuck up behind the boys.

"4..."

She pulled a pair of handcuffs from her sylladex.

"3..."

And steadily...

"2..."

Handcuffed them together.

"1... 0," Rose counted calmly through Karkat's enraged noise. "The apple juice is yours, Dave."

"Yessssss," he hissed, going to receive his prize and pulling a blustering Karkat behind him.

"UNLOCK THESE," he ordered.

"I think I left the key on Alternia," Terezi shrugged. Karkat raged some more.

"Hot damn, I'd like to thank the academy for this one," Dave announced, taking the bottle of juice.

"What academy?" the trolls asked in unison."

"The 'give Dave Strider apple juice academy.' It was a big thing back on Earth," he said, preparing to take a sip of his precious beverage. He rose the rim to his triumphant lips and took a loud, relishing slurp. "BLUH," he cried out, sloshing the bottle's contents all over and nearly making Karkat lose his balance with the frenzied motion.

He held it in front of Rose's eyes. "What. Is. This. Abomination."

"Hmmmm. I recall adding large amounts of sweat gathered from our friend Horuss, among other things," Rose feigned deep thoughtfulness.

"I can't believe this. My life dream. It's all just, just, horsetroll sweat now," Dave slammed the bottle to the table dramatically. "Come on Karkat. We're outta here."

They paraded out, Karkat gloating over Dave's crushed dreams as the door slammed behind them.

"Do they realize that it is unnecessary for them to remain holding hands while they are trapped together in such a fashion?" Kanaya inquired.

"Oh, I think they do," Terezi cackled, spinning a handcuff key on a ring around her finger.

**Author's Note:**

> My first M/M pairing fic and it's during Femslash February. Hahaha I win I get 100 of the percents


End file.
